I don't know what to do with my child's frustration...any ideas?

Ok so today I%26#039;m sitting down with my kid trying to prepare her for kindergarten and we start practicing her last name. I see that she get%26#039;s the letter S backwards, so I think, no biggie, I%26#039;ll just show her how to do it....and she FLIPS OUT AGAIN. She gets upset and wants to quit EVERYTIME she doesn%26#039;t get something the 1st time around. The same thing happened when I taught her how to tie her shoes....she cried and cried and wanted to quit, but I didn%26#039;t let her and I even had to %26quot;take her to the washroom%26quot; if you know what I mean...then we kept at it until she got it and she was SOOOO happy when she learned....but is that how I have to teach her? By giving her or threatening her with whoopin%26#039;s? There has to be another way...I feel like such a failure because that%26#039;s the only way I know how to teach her to do new things. Does anyone have any comments, question or suggestions? Thanks!

I don%26#039;t know what to do with my child%26#039;s frustration...any ideas?
I remember being 5 and my mom wanted me to finish these books where I needed to write the alphabet 10 times. I remember crying and throwing a tantrum and just feeling frustrated and helpless. I guess my point is... cut your child some slack! It%26#039;s not like she%26#039;s not trying, but some kids just take longer to learn than others. Why don%26#039;t you take it one step at a time, and not yearn for perfection right away. Also, why don%26#039;t you reward her for trying--so that next time, she%26#039;ll try harder and she%26#039;ll get a bigger reward. Be patient!
Reply:Wow I agree with the poster and the fact if you%26#039;re out chasing married men and worried about your love life you are the one screwing up your kid. If you think it doesn%26#039;t effect them you%26#039;re crazy. Stop being so selfish. Report It

Reply:A. Stop hitting your kid ASAP. That is teaching her to lash out when she gets frustrated just like mom does. It%26#039;s the WORST thing you can do as a parent.





B. Give her time to make her own mistakes.





C. Have her see a councilor. She may need therapy after your beatings. You should see one to!
Reply:I hardly think that %26quot;whoopins%26quot; are acceptable punishment for her having a hard time dealing with learning something new. (If this is a serious ? and not just someone messing around...) There shouldn%26#039;t be ANY punishment for her frustration in dealing with learning. If anything, I would quit trying for a while, not force her to do it. That%26#039;ll only make things worse, not only now, but it%26#039;ll cause problems in the future.





Leave things such as shoes to tie, or in this case some paper and pencil or whatever you are using to practice writing, out and readily available for her to try on her own when she feels she may have the patience and be in the right mood to try it. It%26#039;ll happen eventually, those kinds of things always do.





If she gets upset very easily, (I%26#039;m sure many adults can relate also, kids aren%26#039;t the only ones who frustrate easily) just try again another time and leave her alone until she calms down. Find something else to do and don%26#039;t worry about it at the time. Do something else with her that will make her feel a sense of accomplishment, like giving her a specific task around the house or having her help you with something. Something you know she will be able to do, so she won%26#039;t get upset about it.
Reply:It isnt a good idea to be threatening at all with a child. They will in turn become threatening to others just to get their own way. This will make them afraid of you and afraid of you teaching them because they wont respect you, they will hate you, and fear you. I would suggest reverse psycology...


For spelling her name... Maybe try putting her name on her belongings. Her bedroom door, her school box, book bag, her toy box... if she gets frustrated, its more likely to come from your frustration, even if we dont admit it, as parents its hard to teach our children the simplest things because they are easy to us...


If you see her getting upset, be encouraging and ask her if she would like to cool down and try again later on.


Maybe if you got the Fridge magnets and showed her the %26quot;S%26quot; and spell her name with it. Or cut outs of letter. Let her trace. She will eventually learn which way the snake points his tounge... ssssssss
Reply:Maybe part of it is how you%26#039;re presenting the material. Try turning it into a game... something with a lot of small rewards along the way, then a bigger reward when she gets it right.





And if she still gets frustrated, don%26#039;t get frustrated back. Just say something like, %26quot;OK, we%26#039;ll do this another time.%26quot; You can be persistent with short lessons... it may take longer, but I think she%26#039;ll start to soften up after awhile.
Reply:Time and patience. Don%26#039;t push or expect since she is %26quot;such and such%26quot; an age she should be doing this or that. Let her be a kid. Too many parents expect perfection and think its so great if their kid is the %26quot;first%26quot;. You should not be punishing a child for not learning to tie her shoes or for heaven%26#039;s sake writing an S backwards. She will get it all in time and if she is slow or needs help they%26#039;ll see that in school. Just remember to have excellent communication with her teachers! At all times. When any one of my kids ever had a problem I always asked the teacher how can WE deal with this together, what do you want us to do at home.





OK, this is disgusting, I just looked at your profile and other questions you%26#039;ve asked and you asked one about being in love with another man even though you%26#039;re married. HELLOOOOO??? Selfish woman, maybe your problems with your kid stem from the fact that you are more worried about what man you%26#039;re getting etc..than about taking care of your kid. What is wrong with people. These precious children are given to us for such a short time for us to love and raise and help along the way to adulthood and then BAM they are raised and out on their own and we can only dream of the days when they were so yound and needed us,...IT GOES BY SO FAST! So put away your selfish, selfish ways and RAISE YOUR BABY. Love her and make her your first priority! Man, how sad. Your child will one day walk out the door grown up and you will have your time to do what you want, when you want, how you want, but do not cheat your child out of the time that should be hers right now. Be a mother first!


No wonder your kid has problems, look in the mirror.
Reply:Be calm. I believe you are transmitting your nerves to her. You want everything to be perfect, so that%26#039;s why your child can%26#039;t do what you tell to her. Try teaching her things with a smile on your face, stop being harsh and serious. Your child will finally learn from you, but you must sometimes let her quit. Don%26#039;t you also quit when you don%26#039;t succeed to do something for the first time.



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